Randomizer
by ladyhades
Summary: I'm just doing what the machine commands! Anything can happen here! Slashville, here we come.
1. Chapter 1

So, you guys, I've downloaded this stupid program called The Hat. Basically, I enter a list of names, it shuffles them up, and draws results randomly.

…you can see where this is going.

* * *

**Keep moving forward!**

Rei fidgeted nervously, dark brows furrowing together in deep apprehension. She took a deep breath to steel herself, while her opponent merely grinned, obviously undaunted.

"Come on now. I don't bite." Michiru called sweetly.

"I don't think Haruka would agree…" deadpanned Minako.

Rei flushed at the innuendo. "Shut up. Not helping."

The blonde snorted, earning a glare that would have killed lesser beings.

"If you won't move," Michiru sang, "I'll come to you, and you're not going to like that."

Another snort. "Wanna bet?"

"MINAKO!"

"What? Like I haven't seen those trashy mangas you keep under your bed…"

Violet eyes flashed. "I swear to all that is HOLY…" But her sentence was cut short as a strong elbow caught her under the chin, and the fire soldier tumbled across the mat.

"Well." Minako smirked safely from the sidelines. "That is one way to shut her up."

Michiru cocked an eyebrow. "I warned you."

"I've got to remember that trick." The blonde declared, the corners of her mouth quirking up in amusement.

"…ow." Rei mumbled, attempting to re-position her jaw. She shook her head rapidly to clear the proverbial fog, and staggered back to her feet.

"Much better." The violinist said with a nod. "I know she's attractive and all, but you should really be paying attention."

"Wait, what?" Rei stammered. "You think…what?"

"Yeah Rei." Minako breezed. "You pervert."

A quick leg sweep, and Rei was back down on the mat.

Minako giggled.

"Don't you have somewhere else to be?" the fire solider groaned, pushing herself up once more.

A hair toss, a flash of honey gold and sparkling eyes. "And miss this? You're kidding, right?"

Michiru stifled a laugh behind her hand.

Sharp eyes narrowed now in fierce determination, and with Michiru distracted by Minako's antics, the miko made her move. With a speed that marveled even the great soldier of wind, Rei was on her feet and across the room, fist drawn back.

Michiru caught her fist easily, twirled, and flipped Rei over her shoulder and back onto the floor.

"Really?" the miko sputtered in disbelief, limbs splayed in a tangled haphazard mess.

"Wow." Minako whistled. "I think I've just developed a crush."

Michiru beamed. "Aw, you're sweet."

A violet eye ticked. "That's it."

Rei charged a final time, catching Michiru's arms and throwing her off balance by sheer determination alone. She quickly hooked her foot behind the older woman's, fully intent on dropping her to the floor. Before Rei could finish the move, the was a flash of aqua marine as the deceptively strong woman leaned forward and brushed her lips over the miko's with a quick peck.

Startled, flushed, and completely paralyzed, Rei froze, and Michiru used the opportunity to drop her to the floor one final time. She shook her hair loose and glanced down at her stunned opponent with a tsk. "I told you. Pay attention."

"That…that was kind of hot." Minako murmured.

"Well. I can't let Haruka have all the fun." Michiru sighed, wandering over to the bench to retrieve her bag. "If anything, maybe it gave you some pointers?"

"I..what?" Minako blinked. "Wait…what?"

As the insinuation dawned, the blonde's face flushed.

"Exactly." The violinist grinned, with a gesture towards the still broken miko. "Don't forget your little friend when you leave."

* * *

I must confess, after discovering this program, I giggled like a loon and drew sets of names for like, I dunno, TEN MINUTES before I could even start working, because in my head, oh the little cartoons in my head.


	2. Chapter 2

_Notes! The hat has spoken. Neptune and Pluto, it has demanded. And so it shall be._

* * *

**_Bruised_**_  
_

The iPod. It was a glorious thing, really, once one gets the hang of such things. Pluto stared down at the tiny screen, timeless emerald eyes squinting in an endearing mix of confusion and concentration. Haruka had gotten the damn thing working before, right? It couldn't be _that_ hard.

Dark lips pursed as the guardian gave the device a vicious shake. The screen remained blank.

There was a loud thud down the hall, followed by the musical laughter of her aqua haired housemate.

Setsuna rolled her eyes as a muffled response from Haruka floated down the hall. Really? Again? Those two were like rabbits. Her features became a mask of grim determination. All the more reason to get her damn iPod working, as there were just some things she really didn't need to hear.

She mashed the doughnut ring of buttons across the music player's front. Another shake.

Nothing.

The laughter had subsided, and was quickly turning into something else, judging by the new noises. A blush tinted mocha cheeks.

"Please please…." she mumbled under her breath, fidgeting with yet another button on the top of the device. Success! The screen came to life, and her ears were immediately assaulted by loud, obnoxious pop music.

Setsuna scowled. Minako must have been tampering with it, judging by the musical selection. She sighed, and jacked up the volume. "I guess I'll take what I can get."

There were worse things, after all.

* * *

Three hours later, one would have thought that Setsuna was a teenaged girl. In the darkened house, long since its other occupants had gone to bed, the time guardian was unabashedly rocking out. Pop music, she decided, as she slid up onto the kitchen counter, wasn't that bad. It seemed to be happy endings for all, and the melodies themselves were delightfully catchy. She found herself singing along, as she rooted around in a cabinet, on the hunt for a bottle of fine wine she knew Michiru kept hidden. Ah. There it was. Behind cooking supplies, where Haruka's grubby little fingers wouldn't search.

She hopped down, grateful for the peace and quiet for once. No teasing. No weird looks. Her newfound secret obsession would be safe. As she poured herself a glass, she silently thanked the violinist for having such fine tastes.

The drink was warm, and already she felt more at ease. More importantly, however, there would be no sympathetic glances and hushed whispers.

She rolled her shoulders and sighed, releasing the tension stored in her muscles. Maybe, maybe it was going to be a good night.

Three glasses of wine later, Miss Mysterious and Aloof was gone, leaving a rather giddy Setsuna clad only in a button down dress shirt in her wake. She slid through the kitchen in bare feet through the dark, giggling like a five year old as she sang along with some fellow who apparently had his heart broken.

The kitchen light flicked on above her head and the time guardian froze, rooted in place. She blinked rapidly as her vision swam for a moment. Whoa. Too much wine?

"Now I've seen it all." A playful, melodious voice teased lightly. Spinning on her heels, and losing a bit of the drink she had so grown to love, Pluto moved to face the speaker. Cool droplets splashed across her toes, and Setsuna flushed a shade of dusty pink when she remembered her state of undress.

Garnet eyes slowly rose to meet sea green. "Hi."

"Hi." Michiru laughed, and it was achingly beautiful.

"So." Setsuna said evenly, shaking off her distress and setting her glass on the kitchen island between them with as much grace and dignity as she could muster. "Come here often?"

A fine eyebrow arched. "Really?"

Internally, the older woman cringed. There was a reason she didn't socialize, the biggest being her complete lack of people skills. She offered a small sheepish grin in response. "You caught me at a weird time."

"Agreed." The violinist mused, drifting around the islander. A delicate hand retrieved the glass on the counter, and Setsuna remained still, transfixed as Michiru raised the wine to her lips, taking a long sip.

The ear bud, still nestled firmly nestled in the time guardian's ear, began to play a more somber tune, but Setsuna's attention was still obviously affixed elsewhere. Her eyes flickered, following the younger girl's movements, and unwittingly holding in her breath as Michiru's black night dress slid up her thigh an inch or two.

_The world won't turn until something breaks._

If she felt eyes on her, the violinist didn't show it. "I think you owe me another bottle."

_Who will make the first last mistake?_

The older woman nodded mutely as the glass was placed back on the islander.

_They say that good things will come to those who wait…_

Michiru was very close now, and she caught hold of the extra ear bud dangling free. She pressed it to her ear for a moment, cocking her head to one side as she listened.

_Well I can't wait._

"What are you listening to?"

Setsuna shrugged almost dumbly.

The younger of the two smiled. "Pop music?"

"Something like that." the time guardian huffed. "I'm just glad I made it go."

"Me too." Michiru laughed, invading Setsuna's personal bubble and resting a hand on a mocha toned forearm.

Garnet eyes blinked in confusion. "I just…"

_Like I care._

Time stopped as the soldier of the seas stood tiptoed, pressing a kiss to Setsuna's cheek. "It's adorable." Michiru breathed, almost a whisper.

The emerald haired woman flushed, and opened her mouth to reply, but Michiru was already gone, slipping back into the darkened hall.

_Love just leaves you bruised._

Alone again in the kitchen, Setsuna let out a slow breath of air.

Pop music wasn't just good, she decided, it was _awesome. _


End file.
